When I first started writing these blogs, I had a couple of laugh out loud responses which reinforced the idea that I'm no spring chicken any more.
The first, unsurprisingly, from an ex boyfriend (who we lovingly call CityBoy). He unsubscribed within 4 minutes of receiving the mail shot and usefully sent a gentle reminder why: NO LONGER INTERESTED. Sure you're not big man. Hence the caps lock.
The second was from a former client: "Congratulations on your new website Rhiann. It's amazing what they can do with a bunch of old photos, isn't it?"
Now I'm off to Miami in less than 7 days to celebrate being 32 utterly disgracefully. I'll be surrounded by 21 year old play monkeys at the hot and sexy Mondrian hotel, and suddenly I'm realising - am I past it? Can I still cut it in the fierce world of having too much fun and looking sexy whilst I do it?
Damn right I will. And here's how. I'm going to fake it. And we've ALL been there once or twice if we're being really honest with ourselves...
Nailing faking it with your body is all about the rectus abdominus (Or six pack to you Neanderthals). Because it is so superficial within our body, bang out one hard abdominal exercise in flexion, and the muscles will appear immediately more toned and lean (assuming you're not 32 stone and living on McNuggets. This faking it business is only for those of us on the cusp of being lazy trolls).
So for this, We utilise the trusty Hundred exercise. It's mean and not fun, but it's over in less time than some of my shortest relationships.
Lying on your back, legs in the air (straight if possible but if that's compromising your back then bend your knees at right angles). Roll the head and shoulders off the floor with the arms by the sides. Pulse your arms up and down quickly one hundred times. Inhale for 5 pulses and exhale for 5 pulses. Ensure you're not almost lying down through this exercise. Keep rolling your ribs into your abdomen.
Now, standing up. Imagine you're standing next to a really tall person. Lift your ribs away from your pelvis. This naturally draws the waist in and makes you taller and leaner looking. Voila. Cheat bikini bod.
Note this posture is actually how we should all stand anyway...
If you've had one too many Happy Meals and have to wear a bikini next week, do what I said above and contact me the week after because I'm on holiday (just joking). Click here