They say you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. This week, I learned not to put all my make-up in one handbag. Years ago in 2013, back when the economy was good, CityBoys were loaded, and £1500 was an acceptable price tag for a handbag; my CityBoy ex bought me a MiuMiu handbag for no reason other than I clapped my hands hard enough at it in the shop. Fast forward to end of 2017 and it looks like it just came back from a holiday in Aleppo. I used that baby every day. My right arm is permanently stronger and bigger than the left after spending four years with the bag swinging off my right forearm with a travelling cappuccino perched delicately in the same hand. But it looks like crap. 

When Max was a puppy, his mouth got so bored of eating my shoes that one day, he chewed the strap off the handbag. After nearly calling the RSPCA, I instead called MiuMiu, who were more than happy to make me a new strap. Yes, make me one. Because the dog ate the last one. Obviously I wasn't the only customer with a bag-eating sausage dog. I thought nothing then, of toting the shabby-chic remains of the bag into the Bond Street store, along with Max, now rehabbed from his £1500/day snack habit, to request they send it off for a refurb job. She said they could TRY, but first I needed to address the "Bag Hygiene." That wasn't a typo. BAG. HYGIENE. I was confused - was that thin layer of bronzer in the bottom of the bag actually Hep C? Is AIDS now transmitted via overpriced luggage? "No", she smiled, "We can't risk the health of our workshop staff with questionable bag hygiene." I didn't even have any poo bags in there FFS. I challenged her to go get me a cloth, thinking she'd realise how ridiculous she sounded and instead ask an intern to give it a wipe. She strutted out the from the back, arm extended, clutching baby wipes. And yes, I did. I sat down on the plush white couch next to a busy Bond Street window, and used one baby wipe for every wipe of the bag. Once enough of an atmosphere had been caused in the store, I crumpled all the NARS Laguna-hued wipes together and handed them to her, proclaiming "FINISHED!" much like a two year old would upon completing their veg.


Anyhow, they sent the bag back last week in the exact same state; like it just got back from it's stag do in Magaluf. Needless to say, I've learned my lesson now. One bag just isn't enough to sustain years of use. We need to combine a selection of designer handbags each week to extend their shelf life.

In this same way, I'm doing the same for your bodies. Enter Tamir Grant; Osteopath and Personal Trainer. Together we are offering you a complete holistic approach to your health, along with Claire Meehan who has already been taking care of the mindfulness bit of you. Keep subscribed to keep updated with more services to follow this year so is your go-to shop for compete whole body wellness.
If you need more than one handbag, or, you need pilates and resistance training, contact me here.