In 2006, Pluto was declassified as a planet. The International Astronomical Union (IAU) downgraded Pluto’s status to that of “Dwarf Planet.” Presumably this was down to its lack of size; a presence just too insignificant to be considered a real player in the Solar System.


I got to wondering why we don’t have a similar declassification procedure for men. A brief assessment using simple questions such as:

  • Are you in gainful employment?
  • Do you own a car?
  • Do you have your own place (not purchased by Mummy and Daddy)?
  • Did you manage to tell your current girlfriend it’s over before sleeping with your ex?

If you answered “No” to the first 3 questions, you get Plutoed. If you answered “No” to question 4, you are TWM (Tiny White Man) and also get Plutoed. TWM made a brief cameo in The Rhiann Show again last week, and is the best example yet in support of the argument for male declassification. TWM got pre-excited and booked a couple of budget flights with current GF, then endured an Arabian Adventure with her, despite wanting to break up with her. Cut to last week, and he still hasn’t grown a pair big enough to tell her it’s over. So he just had sex with his ex instead.


It’s this kind of cowardly micro-behaviour that justifies masculine declassification. We could send the Plutonians to a military style camp where they have a finite amount of time to grow a pair and reclaim their male classification status, or labelled Pluto forever.



The other thing in my life I declassified this week is cannabis. Well, sort of. The declassified version being CBD oil. The ongoing clinical trials involving CBD are producing mountains of evidence that CBD’s capacity to heal and relieve pain are enormous. Technically it is sold as a food supplement, because it is plant based. The THC (the psychedelic compound) is removed, leaving only the natural healing properties of CBD. There are no known side effects to using CBD oil. It can be used topically to heal skin lesions or wounds or taken orally as an immune boosting supplement. I had the onset of a sore throat/virus this week. Two days of administering CBD orally and no further symptoms developed. So the world gets to enjoy my dulcet tones uninterrupted. Hashtag winning.

BalletFit has officially partnered up with MariPharm UK, the worlds largest distributor of the purest CBD oil available. CBD is the future of pain relief, and as yet it’s power to heal medical pathologies have yet to be officially proven. But we all know if I’m taking it first, you’re onto a good thing.

Because I’m such a good person, and a MariPharm partner, I can offer 10% off all MariPharm products for BalletFit readers. Simply click here and use discount code RK10. Or copy and paste this link

If you have any questions regarding CBD use, or need a male declassification assessment, click here.