So I’m dating REG (Real Estate Guy) again. A late night convo about ABBA and Dirty John on Netflix reignited the flame that I pissed on when I threw a Rhiann-sized tantrum over not getting laid one night. Turns out men don’t call after you send them a Whatsapp in error, meant for your best friend, calling them a knob.

REG made a cute comment about my food “cravings.” The craving he was referring to was actually my lunch - M+S EXTREMELY Chocolatey Orange Biscuits (the Orange counts as one of my five-a-day almost certainly). I was surprised one evening at dinner with him that I had stomach cramps. After eating an airport-sized Toblerone and a packet of original Oreos as a pre-snack, before my chicken and chips.

I’m not going to lie, I’m one of those hideous women who doesn’t gain weight. I’m a fat bird in a skinny lass’s body. And I’m not even sorry. If I looked like a TurboPig, I’d rein it in. But I don’t. So I won’t.


For any of you fatties out there who don’t possess the Barbie gene to override the Fillet Tower Burgers you’re troughing, I’m launching 10<IN>14. And no, it’s not 10 Big Macs in 14 minutes. It’s TEN workouts in FOURTEEN DAYS.

Got a holiday coming up where a fat hiding burka just won’t do? Got your son’s Bar Mitzvah and just can’t let *ANY OTHER WOMAN THERE* upstage you? Then 10<IN>14 is your saviour. And the best bit? It’s only £395. That’s less than 40 quid a day to not cross a line into being a monster. Bargain.

There’s no real catch to this one. I just make you work your oversized arse off for 10 hours in two weeks. Welcome.

Email to book. Obviously there’s not many slots available, so I can’t SQUEEZE everyone in.... too much...?

See you at the Barre.

Love, BalletFit.